And now it's over a month later, and I realise I still haven't finished this bloody Venice story! So sorry guys & girls but it's going to have to be a super speedy one where I don't indulge in decorative but functionally superfluous linguistic froth (after this sentence, that is).

On Saturday we had a late start, with the boys contenting themselves with playing on their little handheld gaming consoles. We went to a nearby supermarket which had a mad queue where the woman in front of us just abandoned all her shopping for some not quite clear reason, which left us standing for some time while the check-out lady, very hot under the collar, sorted out all the goods.

We walked through the winding alleys of Venice for some time, encouraging the boys to spot interesting architectural or environmental features (Charlie saw a great rat spray-painted onto a stone at the bottom of a wall; Ryan found a fabulous lost dog poster on the wall of a hidden tennis court).

We got a water taxi along the Grand Canal all the way through the heart of Venice and out to the Lido. The views were quite simply classic: Rialto Bridge, St Mark's Square, the Doges' Palace, the whole kit & kaboodle!

On the Lido we had a bit of a shite lunch and then headed to the other side of the island to spend some time on the beach. The boys were just loving it, and to be fair it was a hot sunny day. Even the fact that we got moved along three times (okay so it was a private beach, but hey) didn't anger me overmuch. After a couple of hours on the sand (we bought ourselves a beach towel) we escaped the heat and sat in the shade of the purpose-built café. There Ryan proceeded to do a performance of gymnastic prowess that was marvelled at by all present.

Another water taxi took us back to St Mark's Square, where we walked around and took lots of photos, particularly of the Basilica and the Astrological Clock. Then we took yet another water taxi across to Accademia, where we went to a restaurant recommended to Michaela by her friend Sue. There was too much food!!! The place was mad, run by these two old sisters (the third one had died recently) whose photo was on the wall from when they were fab in the sixties. I got Charlie to ask one of them in Italian whether it was her in the photo, and she was on cloud nine!

At a very late hour we then took another water taxi home to San Marcuolo (chatting to a lovely Irish couple on the way there) and then found our way back home through the winding night streets. And do you know what? We hadn't paid for a single taxi all day! Ummm!!!

On Sunday we again had a slow morning, Michaela & I enjoying a strong cup of caffetera coffee from the little metal purveyor of blessèd aromas and the boys enjoying more tinny music from their handheld thingybobs. Then we walked slowly across to the Rialto bridge, stopping on the way for some amazing little pizzette and ice creams, plus divine nougat and meringues. We decided that snack food was much better than the food we'd had in restaurants so far.

We got to the Basilica and joined the queue that was forming, and got chatting to a lovely young couple from Ireland who now live in California. Inside the Basilica Charlie was a little demon. Sugar low. And, in a parallel development, a chunk of marble fell from the ceiling of the crypt where all the most precious artefacts are kept and hit another tourist on the head!!! Which didn't inspire confidence, I have to say. We left sooner rather than later...

Our next stop was a pizza restaurant in a way too touristy bit of town - but we were all in need of food by this point, so we thought what the hell. It didn't taste too bad. Then we headed back to St Mark's and went into the Doges' Palace. Michaela & I took turns to dash through the palace proper while the other looked after the boys, who luckily were totally happy to run around the inner cloister for hours.

Part of the walk through the palace takes you through the inside of the Bridge of Sighs, which I thought was called that because it was the last sight of Venice convicts got before entering the bowels of the prison, but I now realise is named for the reaction one has to being stuck behind a very slow-moving crowd of South American students who themselves are stuck behind a woman having an attack of claustrophobia. Still, at least I can say I've been there now.

Back on St Mark's Square we discovered that a big religious procession was about to be held outside the Basilica, so we hung around to watch that. Hm, it was great. Then we jumped into a Gondola (a steal at only €100 - but I'm not sure who's stealing from whom) and had a forty-minute ride around some cool canals with a gondolier whose English was sadly rather limited.

We headed back over towards Accademia for dinner, this time ending up in a waterfront place on the southern shore which was most pleasant. The water taxi to go home took us through the port area, where we saw some stupendously big cruise liners. And so to bed.

Monday was our last day, but we still managed to pack quite a lot in. We got our bags ready, then headed to the northern shore to check out the boats to the airport. We had a spot of lunch in a waterfront place there which looked a bit dodgy to tell the truth but it turned out to be the meal of the holiday! And Giulio the waiter was hilarious too. He looked and acted like an Italian version of Michaela's friend Gareth.

We headed back to the Lido, this time taking a boat round the northern side of the island, hit the beach again for a while, caught a water taxi back to town (dang! we had to pay for tickets this time), walked back to the apartment (where I got chatting with the couple from upstairs), picked up our bags, caught the boat back to the north shore, quickly ordered some pizzas from Giulio's restaurant, and didn't even have time to eat them before catching the speedboat service across the lagoon to the airport.

Michaela's dear friend Lisa who used to teach the boys at Kindergarten picked us up from the airport and drove us home through a mad thunderstorm, and so endeth the Venice Lesson.